The Tongue

James 3:6 — The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Lately my tongue hasn’t been behaving. … The pressure of life has grown, and I need to complain to someone. … The people around me have grown more complicated, and I can’t keep it in.

I went to a wedding today and was very happy for the two colleagues. In my years of work they have both been people I learned from. They both think of their patients and care about them deeply. I still remember the bride teaching and supervising my bone marrow and intrathecal chemo back then. And the groom patiently teaching me whenever I went to him, “jittery” and over every little thing, for a consult. So at their wedding today I was very thankful for them.

Every wedding exhortation feels like a reminder for my own marriage. Say more words of praise, appreciate more, don’t try to change the other person… Easy to say, but really very hard… This very morning I had already hurt my wife with my words more than once… Sorry.

Another thing that pierced me was “judging others”, that is, gossip. My secondary school friends know I don’t want to hear gossip and don’t talk about people in front of me. Not because I am lofty or of fine character, but because I am nosy too and can’t control my own tongue. So when they gossip, I walk away… and over time they learned I didn’t want to hear it and stopped gossiping in front of me. In recent years, gossip about colleagues, gossip about nurses, more and more of it… I’ve gone numb.

Today’s exhortation mentioned that the bride “smiles at gossip”… truly the most timely reminder I’ve had lately. Lord, help me control my tongue well, to be a good doctor and a good husband. Amen.